The truth is while there may be people out there who have gone through similar problems that I have been trying deal with... nobody knows what this is like for ME.
The truth is that there are days when I look at his face and see the pain there I feel utterly hopeless and useless to him. That look is like seeing the end of the world. There are days when it feels like the only things we have left are the things we don't want, okay that's mostly about the house. And that's because the house has become the one thing that forces us to stay in this cold, miserable, lonely place. I don't think I've ever felt more alone than I feel here... I tried too hard and ended up falling on my face. I keep thinking that maybe something would be better if only we could get home (to a place I swore I'd never go back to) where at least there would be built in support and people who care. The truth is that even now almost two months later I see a picture or have a thought and I miss Max all over again. He was a part of our lives for nine years, our first dog, our boy. Wouldn't hurt a fly and suddenly one night he's just gone. I know it's crazy but sometimes I feel like it's all because we moved to this stupd state. It's just been one bad thing after another... sickness, surgery with unforseen side effects, forced retirement, the loss of three pets... not sure how much more I can take... The TRUTH is most days I don't even see the point in getting out of bed anymore
